EURO-English — chiste en serio
Autor: z NN
Publicado: enviado a eforobolivia en enero de 2003
Language for Europe.
The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other contender. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has therefore accepted a 5 year phased plan named ‘Transition to EuroEnglish’.
In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly this will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up the konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased with the ‘f. This will make words like
‘fotograf’ 20% shorter. In the third year publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the highest stage so more komplicated changes will be possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’
with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ’0′ kan be
dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ziz fifz year ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
troubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand each ozer.
Ze drem vil finali kum tru!